IT EXISTS

For those not at Joondalup this afternoon, you will have no idea what the fuck this is, but trust me, its hilarious.

The Experiment

Problem:

How long can a Metalhead survive without Heavy Metal?

Question:

Can a Metalhead refrain from listening to Heavy Metal for 2 weeks?

Hypothesis:

I predict that the subject will not survive the two weeks, as i think that this is an experiment of futility.

I think this will happen because i know the subject personally, and i know that they listen to music on a daily basis. They are also known to listen to music at every available oppertunity. Because Time Spent Awake = Eating + Music, when Music decreases, and Time Spent Awake stays the same, Eating must increase. This would suggest that the subject will gain mass over the course of the experiment. However, Eating = (Moving x Thinking) + k; therfore when Eating increases, k is a constant and so cannot change, and Moving would not change, therfore the subjects thinking capacity must also increase.

Note: k = the "can i be bothered" constant

Variables:

Uncontrolled:

hearing music without input from subject, incuding other peoples phones, stereos, television, etc.

Controlled:

subjects proximity to music, subjects proximity to access to music, subjects ability to secretly get someone else to play them music.

Variables Measured:

Time taken for subject to give in before they kill themself.

Equipment:

Clock

A Metalhead

Safe to lock musical implements

Diagram Of Setup:

Method:

Step 1 - Set up as shown in diagram.

Step 2 - Remove all musical implements, including MP3, delete all music on phone, refrain from using music on laptop.

Step 3 - record seconds/minutes/days without listening to music in a table

Experiment will begin 3/07/10

FUCK YOU AGE

WHY MUST YOU STOP ME FROM SEEING AWESOME SHIT

Bands coming to Australia this year:

Soulfly
Mayhem
Slash
Hellyeah
Napalm Death with support by Dying Fetus

Bands performing at over 18 venues:

Soulfly
Mayhem
Napalm Death with support by Dying Fetus

Bands not performing in Perth:

Slash
Hellyeah

Bands coming to Australia, and playing in Perth at all age events:

Paramore
Parkway Drive
Bullet For My Valentine
Birds of Tokyo



Fuck this shit...

HELP ME CHOOSE! - Part 4

Tally so far:

Prints

Grandfather - 3

Shirts

Father killer - 1.5

Goodnight Lava - 1.5

(Geoff decided to pick two shirts. WRRRRRRRY)

If you havn't voted yet, go here right now.

2 days before i have to order!

EDIT: I made votes that were double votes 1 point each.

Tallys are now...

Prints

Grandfather - 3

Open Sore - 1

Patient #2 - 1

The Zookeeper's Secret - 1

Shirts

Goodnight Lava - 3

Father Killer - 3

The Real Batman - 2 (Joe voted for it over MSN, technically)

EDIT #2 - Due to Wongy's Jew-like use of an epic loophole, the tally is now as follows:

Prints

Grandfather - 3

Open Sore - 2

Patient #2 - 2

The Zookeeper's Secret - 1

Shirts

Goodnight Lava - 3

Father Killer - 4

The Real Batman - 3

There will be no such further allowed usage of said epic loophole, these points are allowed for Wong's Jew-ingenuity.

Eddy's MSN Adventure: Part 1

F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:42 PM):
*nah
*im kidding
*hi edyyyyyyyy
*if brittany is there and i just got you into trouble or something, i am now going to rofl
*3....
*2....
*1....
*commence rofl
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:44 PM):
*cease rofl. note no response. re-establishing rofl...
*3...
*2...
*1...
*rofl
*this is what happens when you dont respond
*i make up a story
*and have a conversation with myself
*...
*you win this round
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:45 PM):
*but i'll be back, with funnier things to say
*just you watch
*i will become more powerful than you could ever imagine
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:46 PM):
*wow, star wars quote...
*but what if it wasnt brittany... but your... you have a sister right?
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:47 PM):
*what if your family dont know about brittany...
*omg
*what if your sister is reading this right now
*and is like "HOLY FUCK"
*MUM
*EDDY HAS A GIRLFRIEND
*bahaha
*not really
*you dont have a girlfriend...
*you wouldnt let a girl touch your hair
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:48 PM):
*thats just silly
*yes.. silly.
*what if your being confronted about this right now
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:49 PM):
*whilst your msn keeps bleeping cos im still talking
*omg my brain hurts there are too many possibilities
*what if terrorists have captured your house
*and you got caught on msn
*and got taken hostage
*but didnt have time to turn your msn off
*so now its bleeping away
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:50 PM):
*and one of the terrorists have shot the screen cos its annoying them
*and now they're turning the gun onto your hair
*and your crying
*"dont shoot my hair"
*"kill my family, but not my hair"
*and so the terrorist lets you go
*but then out of nowhere, postman pat comes in
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:51 PM):
*and the terrorists panic and kill him
*so now they have blood on their hands
*and not just any blood
*postman pat blood
*but then his cat goes mental
*and kills the terrorist
*and the other terrorist tries to shoot it
*but only shoots the other terrorists face
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:52 PM):
*so now your sat there, tied up next to your mum and sister, with two dead terrorists, a decomposing postman pat and a psychotic cat
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:53 PM):
*then your dad comes home
*(you have a dad right?)
*and hes like "LOL WTF"
*and your like "BRB DAD, NEED TO TURN OFF MY MSN"
*and hes like "LOL KK"
*and so he unties you
*and you walk slowly to the computer...
*slowly...
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:54 PM):
*you sit down in the already pulled out chair (cos you never got to push it in cos the terrorists surprised you. keep up)
*slowly you raise your arms...
*and begin to ty-
*but no
*the SWAT team arrive
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:55 PM):
*and your like "HOLY SHIT"
*and you never get to make a keystroke
*to let Tom know your back
*cos the SWAT team are like
*"EVERYONE GET DOWN"
*and you poo yourself a little
*but its ok
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:56 PM):
*cos you manage to stop at the point, where a bit of the poo, is touching the cloth of your underwear, essentially "touching cloth".
*so now your asking the biggest SWAT guy if you can go to the bathroom
*but the SWAT guy thinks your gay
*because of your hair
*so he thinks your trying to seduce him
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:57 PM):
*so he gets aggresive
*and pistol whips you
*and then smashes your xbox
*and you cry
*you cry a river of tears
*and by the time you stop
*the SWAT team are gone
*but they've taken your family
*and you like "WTF"
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:58 PM):
*then you realise
*they think your family killed postman pat
*so now they;re wanted criminals
*the cat cannot be held liable for killing the terrorists, because it was self-defense
*the government needs someone to blame for the death of postman pat
*otherwise the public will get suspicious
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (10:59 PM):
*they can't know that terrorists killed him
*because then they'll want more progression in Iraq
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (11:00 PM):
*but Obama hasn't finished his epic game of Monopoly with Bin Laden
*until they find out who loses
*they cant let anyone win the war
*but Obama just traded Mayfair
*now Bin Laden has all of the blue properties
*and can build a hotel
*Obama is fucked
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (11:01 PM):
*so your sat in your house
*thinking
*how am i going to get my family back
*and then you realise
*your pet mongoose geoff (no relation to our geoff-not so-freeeee)
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (11:02 PM):
*and how he is similar to cliffard the big red dog in that he is larger than a normal animal of the same species as he
*so you get your customised geoff saddle
*and your sword of a thousand cursed souls
- Eddy - says (11:02 PM):
*hahahaha just got 2 my laptop n read that shit
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (11:02 PM):
*OMG YOUR BACK FROM YOUR ADVENTURE
- Eddy - says (11:02 PM):
*but soz g2g hahaha
F. Spirit RIP Paul Gray. Breakdowns, obscenities, it's all I wana be says (11:03 PM):
*geoff awaits
*ride Eddy, save your family
*you know what must be done
*the crystals of ethinos must be destoryed so you may break the seal

*-Eddy- has left the conversation*

To be continued?

HELP ME CHOOSE - Part 3

Due to popular demand, i will now re-re-post the prints and shirts from Alex Pardee.

:(

Remember: one Print and one Shirt

Prints

The Grandfather

The Zookeepers Secret

Riding The Brown Lazy Face

The GiftPatient #2

Open Sore 1

Shirts

Goodnight Lava (Light Blue)

Goodnight Lava (Slate)

Father Killer

Real Batman

The Gift

Happy Voting :]

HELP ME CHOOSE! Part 2

Fuck your underwhelming lack of support :(

I will now proceed to put it here AGAIN. So far its:

Grandfather - 2

Goodnight Lava - 1 (cos technically Geoff-not so-free voted twice :) )

Father Killer - 2

Happy voting :D

Paul Gray Autopsy Released

Just confirmed that Paul Gray did die of an accidental overdose, the perscription drugs in question being Morphine and a Morphine substitute.

So no foul play, and he died in his sleep...

RIP Paul.

HELP ME CHOOSE!

So Alex Pardee is having a sale on some of his prints. Me wanty!

Unfortunately most of his stuff is FUCKING EPIC, so its kinda hard to choose what to get.

so i turn to you, internet people.

I can get one print and one shirt, i think.

So, choose for me, people of the internet. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :]

Prints:

The Grandfather

The Zookeepers Secret (No relation to Blaise's "Zookeeper Secret")

Riding The Brown Lazy Face

The Gift

Patient #2

Open Sore 1

Shirts:

Goodnight Lava (Light Blue)

Goodnight Lava (Slate)

Father Killer

Real Batman

The Gift

E3: Stuff that didnt get put on the website during the time E3 was actually open

stupid internet peoples at E3... theres some indie games near the end so have a look, ive tried to describe them as sparingly as possible so you can know what might interest you and what won't.



FINAL MOTHERFUCKING FANTASY XIV - oh hell yea. i love my finals fantasys. looks awesome, a new Summon by the looks of things, and there were a few glimpses of what looks like a pissed off Ifrit. A new race aswell, looks like an elf thing. Viera, humes, moogles and the dwarf things whose names change in EVERY FUCKING GAME are also present. yay! footage of character creation nhhhhear and a beta battle system hnnnnear.

Star Wars: The Old Republic - i didn't think they would show anything at E3, let alone 5 NEW VIDEOS. Cue falling out of chair and having a seizure on the floor. I <3 you Bioware and Lucas Arts.

Metroid: Other M - yummy yummy yummy i got Metroid in my tummy... the background music also has a bassline that would make Darcie proud.

T.E.R.A - The first ever true Action MMO, its world of warcraft without iteam management and auto targeting. you have to swing your sword or shoot your arrow or whatever the fuck your using as a weapon in the direction of your enemy, or your gona miss.

Fallout: New Vegas - Fallouts back, and without an Elder Scrolls game inbetween. I am dissapoint :(. But its Fallout, so i forgive you Bethesda. NOW MAKE ME ELDER SCROLLS V DAMMIT.

Konami Press conference - PES 2011 anyone? There may only be 5 seconds of PES, but its PES. So enjoy it.

End of Nations - the new command & conquer? looks pretty cool.

Civilization V - yay!

Trine 2 - A neat little side-scrolling platformer, its an indie developer so its incredably detailed and alot of effort has gone into it.

Free Zombie Hero: Kill Angry War Ninja - its great when a game has a nice title. very funny trailer.

Rock of Ages - An incredably funny looking game, another Indie title, but its really, really cool. watch the trailer, its up their with naughty bear.

Child of Eden - its great when a game trailer makes no fucking sense what-so-ever. The only thing i can figure out is that it involves shooting jellyfish and it has so much colour that Joe will be trying to figure out what the fuck is going on for hours on end.

Zentia - yet again i scream WHAT THE FUCK at a tralier that makes no sense. For future reference, if you ever get around to making a video game, please make a trailer that MAKES FUCKING SENSE. But it does look kinda cool.

Deadliest Warrior - a fighting game ala Tekken, Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter with one hit kills and dismemberment? Hello! Features REALISTIC dying, your not gona get a spear in the face and be able to get back up. And yes, it is based on the tv show, but for some reason its not gay!

Brink - WTF BETHESDA, MAKE ELDER SCROLLS. But again, it is forgiven, this game looks like Team Fortress but with objectives and more realism. Really, really cool. Nice online too.

E3: Day 3

Lots of gameplay footage shown at the final day of E3, with the majority of the indie titles being debued now that sony, microsoft and nintendo have wrapped up their main titles.

ive put the main developers at the start and the indie games at the end, have a look at all of the indie games, cos there is some great stuff from developers who dont usually get to show off in the spotlight.



Sony Wrap-up

"Glamor" Footage of the 3DS

Character Run-though for Assassins Creed: Brotherhood and Story run through - SO AWESOME

Gameplay Footage for Gran Turismo 5 - graphics are insane, but whoevers driving freaking sucks

More Zelda Gameplay - it looks alot more in the style of the older games

God of War: Ghost of Sparta - more footage heeennnar. Looks like a prequel to the original series, with kratos still the main character.

New debut Star Wars: Force Unleashed II, looks awesome and i love it already. Some more footage hnearrr.

New Heavy Rain - the movie masterpiece returns with the old storyline tied to the PS3 motion controller thingy that looks like a retarded pen.



and now for the indie titles - give them a look, some of them are really cool

Rage - An FPS from the inventors of the genre, who developed games such as DOOM and Wolfenstein. they say they've taken the FPS formula and added to it (who doesnt say they have these days) but i think its worth a look. gameplay walkthough part 2 nhearrrrr, this second video is by far one of the coolest things ive seen an E3, its got remote control RC cars with bombs strapped to them, wicked ninja enemys, a lightning crossbow, enemys that react to where you shoot them (legs fall off, clutch their chests but keep running, etc) NOTE THE FF XIV BANNER IN THE BACKGROUND, WTF, WHERE IS THE GAMEPLAY FOOTAGE FROM THAT!

Majin and the Forsaken Kingdom - A nice little action and adventure puzzle solver, something unique. Gameplay footage nhenaaaar

Vindictus - A game which reminds me alot of Drakengard, a game on the ps2 which i loved dearly. Pretty much a hack and slash, but with some cool powers, etc. gameplay footage nhheheaarrrr

Enslaved - If Final Fantasy X was a fighting game, this would be its bastard child. Looks amazing. Great gameplay features and shiny graphics, with a nice End-of-the-World storyline. IT MUST ALSO BE NOTED THAT IT IS BASED ON THE SAME 400 YEAR OLD CHINESE STORY AS DRAGONBALL Z. Gameplay footage hernaaar and nhearrrrr

not sure how many of you like The Cure, but they did a demo with Rock band 3, including a new keyboard peripheral. There was also a demo with The Doors.

Warrior: Legends of Troy - Another hack and slash game, but it does look great. The historical element adds to it aswell, you'll get to rape Troy in the Trojan Horse :P. Gameplay footage hneaaar (Large army battle) and nnnnheaaaar

Naughty Bear - whoever came up with this game, i love you. Take that bunny suicide book, change the rabbits into bears, and then turn it into a video game. Gameplay footage - neharrrr, nerharrrr, and hhhhnearrrr. EASILY in contention for indie game of the year.

Lost in Shadow - So cool. A platformer/puzzle game, but your a shadow. you must live in the world's shadow, moving and fighting. its a hard concept to explain in words, you simply have to watch the video.

E3: Day 2

Some of the bigger guns were released today, with a few flagship titles being shown.

scroll away :D (theres a nice surprise for wongy near the end too :] )

Pokemon rangers: Guardian Signs - no idea if you guys know about/have seen this, but yea.

Zelda Gameplay - theres a few. hennnar, hennnar, and nhhear.

New COD gameplay - storyline revealed and gameplay elements, and some hints at multiplayer

The Agency - hass been on my rader for a while, its pretty much an MMO spy game. so awesome.

More delicious Asassins Creed - Multiplayer!

GRAN TURISMO 5

Silent Hill 8 - Horror gaming at its finest (shitty graphics is xbox related)

Afterfall Insanity - never heard of this game, and its kinda been flying under the rader at E3, but it looks pretty neat. Shiny PS3 graphics aswell.

F.E.A.R 3 - oh wongyyyyyyyyyyyyy. theres also some footage nhearrrrr

The Curse of Pele Returns

E3: Day 1

Well E3 kicked off yesterday, and as usual mind-rapeage is strewn across the lands as gamers bask in the glory of new shiny things to play with.

Please scroll all the way, its in order i found them, so the ones you might be interested in may be near the end.

At the end of Friday ill have a full list of game-ness, but in the meantime, here are some of the highlights:

Assassins Creed: Brotherhood trailer - So epic. Considering the last game in the series was first or in the top 3 of my top ten last year (as if im going to remember) this was one i was watching out for. I, and many in the gaming community, figured it would be hard for ubisoft to top AC II but surprise surprise, they delivered.

Killzone 3 - Fucking. Wow. (Gameplay tralier nnnhearrr) For those wondering, yes, its in-game gameplay, not cut scenes.

Portal 2 - Yay! Easily looking at one of the games of the year. And yes, contrary to popular belief, shes still alive.

NEW MOTHERFUCKING METAL GEAR SOLID - OH HELL YES. YOU. GET. TO. CUT. ANYTHING. IN ANY WAY YOU WANT TO.

COD Gameplay demo - it actually looks pretty cool. Another Gameplay video form the Microsoft press conference is hennnnarrrrr, the first looks like its set during the cold war, the second during vietnam. The first video is a famed COD breach mission, and treyarch havnt yet managed to fuck up. The second includes going into the famed vietcong tunnels, and taking control of a Hind, including flying it and blowing shit up. Woo! Graphics are kinda shit though, but probably because its on the Xbox.

New Zelda - Pretty radical. some new weapons too.

SWEET BABY JESUS NEW STAR WARS - control the lightsaber motion, but now its actually good!

Final Fantasy - Sadly its a DS version, so its not made by the same AWESOME PEOLE

Dragon Quest IX - Simply awesome. Graphics look great, and gameplay looks as tidy as ever.


I love E3 :D

On Sunday at Download Corey dedicated the song Bother to Paul.

It would mean alot to me you watched this, if anything just to see how much he ment to me and to everyone in the heavy metal family.

RIP Paul, you will never be forgotten.

Lolwut

Whats that? Christian parody band covers In The End?

Well im sure Wong would love to hear this :D

International Day of Slayer

the 6/6 is here, and its 6am. You know what that means. Its the International Day of Slayer! Pump up those stereos, break out the dusty South of Heaven albums and make old KK proud.

And as we all know...

Rafael Benitez Leaves Liverpool

For once, im saddened to see the Scouse wankers lose a manager. Rafa was not only a terrible tactician, he had no idea what the economy was either.

Highlights of the Rafa Reign:

Winning The Champions League, after being 3-0 down against a AC Milan side which included the likes of Shevchenko, Kaka, Seedorf and Gattuso.

Buying Torres

Buying N'Gog

Selling Alonso

Trying to defeat Alex Ferguson in Mind Games

Good times.

1. Final Fantasy XIII

Before i get fucked in the ass by everyone saying "its only first cos your a fan", play the game. Then you can come and tell me that it sucks, but you won't. It may not be as epic as FFVII or FFIX, but seriously, wow. Think the size of WOW, with the graphics of Avatar, with a plotline written by Stephen King.

While im not the biggest fan of the futuristic styled FF's, this one has definately started to win me over. Epic. Just Epic.

2. Heavy Rain

What is there to say about this game? you have to play it to understand the importance of it. This is the future. And its fucking epic.

Top 7 Games of 2010 (the first 6 months)

3. Mass Effect 2

When KOTOR goes into hibernation, gamers are usually left with a gigantic RPG void in their souls.

Enter Mass Effect, in a sense KOTORs now main rival for computing RPG supremicy. Forget the PS3 and Xbox360 ports, these games made their name on the old box n' screen. BioWare did something that most developers dont, they actually looked at the biggest name in their field, and did their best to outdo them the most. Because its the original, KOTOR will always win, but if it had never existed, Mass Effect would easily be the greatest PC RPG of all time. Period.

Essencially its a KOTOR with shiny graphics, a new plot and different weapons. So its an instant classic.